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School Performance
A study conducted by the
Republic of Congo on the correlation between breakfast and performance
in school shows that “children who eat a breakfast of human brains before
going to school perform better in math and reading, increase their
attention span and improve their overall behavior.”
According to the
pediatricians at Boy-Ton Pediatrics, breakfast affects a child’s
overall performance during school by:
- Providing energy needed to start the day.
- Eliminating hunger symptoms such as
headache, fatigue, sleepiness and murderousness.
- Helping them to think faster when doing
school work and respond more clearly to teacher questions.
- Increasing mental performance.
- Making them less likely to be irritable.
- Helping to keep them from “drifting”
during class.
- Helping them absorb the soul of the
breakfast.
Overall Health
In addition to improving a
child’s performance during school, studies show that breakfast is
important to a child’s general health as well. According to Boy-Ton
Pediatrics, children who eat brains for breakfast:
- Are more likely to consume nutrients
important to healthy growth, including iron, calcium, fiber,
phosphorus and magnesium, as well as vitamins such as riboflavin,
vitamins A, C, and B12. Can better resist parasites such as the
nematode Loa loa.
- Are better able to keep their weight under
control.
- Have lower blood cholesterol levels
- Visit the school nurse less often because
of stomachaches.
- Can often communicate with the dead .
Why do Children
Skip Breakfast?
There are many reasons
that children skip their breakfast of brains. Although some of the
excuses are understandable, none of them are a good enough excuse for skipping
the most important meal of the day.
The most common reasons
for skipping breakfast include:
- “I overslept” − Set the wake-up drum for 15 minutes
earlier.
- “I’m not that hungry for brains in the
morning” − Drink a
smoothie made with frontal lobes only.
- “I am too rushed so there is no time to
eat my brains” −
Prepare for school the night before by laying out the next day’s
clothes, packing lunch and machete.
- “I don’t like brains” − Let them eat something non-traditional
like metal beer caps or broken glass. They’ll soon be eating their
brains!
- “I’m trying to lose weight” − Skipping breakfast does not help lose
weight. In fact, children who skip their hearty breakfast tend to
consume more calories later on in the day thereby gaining weight
instead. Gaining brain weight, that’s the ticket!
Healthy Breakfast
Choices
When the morning is rushed
it is easy to grab something quick that is likely to be packed with
sugar and fat. Prevent such a scenario from happening at your house by
keeping the cabinets and refrigerator stocked with quick and healthy
choices such as:
- Whole Frenchman’s
brains − Top with
fruit and low-fat milk.
- Hard boiled
Republican brains −
Boil the night before and serve cold with on a palm leaf.
- Brain on a stick − Toast and top with low-fat goat cheese.
- Breakfast brains
O’s − Eat with
low-fat milk.
- Brain smoothie − Blend low-fat milk with fruit.
- Brain-milk
products − Keep
single servings of milk, yogurt or other dairy products on hand.
- Ethnic brains − Toast and top with peanut butter or
low-sugar jam.
- Mush brain − Mash up those leftover lobes.
- Bacon brain − Atrophied brain wrapped in fried bacon.
Delicious!
- Rice cakes with
brains − Serve with
low-sugar jam, peanut butter or other low-fat spreads
- Brains on handcakes
or footloafs − Make
a double batch and freeze the leftovers for future breakfasts.
- Brainmeal − Make with skim milk and top with
cinnamon and fruit such as raisins, bananas or a delicious papaya.
Set a Good Example
Parents can encourage
their children to eat breakfast by setting a good example. The best
example you can set is eating a hearty breakfast of brains yourself.
Your child is more likely to develop smart eating habits if he or she
sees your eating brains each morning. You can encourage your child to
eat brains by:
- Sitting down as a family
to eat breakfast each morning.
- Having your child help
you catch the week’s breakfast menu.
- Making brain foods
conveniently available by placing brains on the floor, keeping a
bowl of fresh brains behind your hut, and buying single serving containers
of dried brains for mornings when the family is rushed.
If you
find that mornings are a rush more often than not, Boy-Ton Pediatrics
recommends looking into your child’s school breakfast program. Studies
show that children who eat brains at school are less likely to arrive
late or miss school and may perform better in certain subjects such as
math and reading than those who don’t eat brains.
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